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Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn’t that you don’t like him, but it is his behaviour that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child’s self-esteem?

Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn’t dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you love when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?

Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.
If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.

A Better Way
Positive discipline, based on love and limits, is common sense. It’s often the simple, sensible choices we tend to overlook as options, especially when we’re in the heat of a kid battle. Unlike punishment, positive discipline works to maintain the dignity of both child and parent by helping the child want to cooperate because he knows it’s the right thing to do, not because he feels he has to comply “or else.” It has three main objectives:
• To put a stop to misbehaviour (such as whining, lying, hitting, tantrums).
• To encourage good behaviours (i.e., cleaning up, healthy eating, using manners).
• To strengthen the relationship between parent and child.
The starting place for positive discipline is with you. It involves modelling good behaviour – the kind you’d like from your child. As you have already discovered, children will do as you do, not necessarily as you say. To review the kind of behaviour you expect, schedule private discussions and family meetings to revisit a situation without blame, shame, fear, or guilt. When the child has input into solving the problem, he is more inclined to want to cooperate as planned when a similar situation arises. The process helps him feel important. But keep in mind that you have full veto power. Over time, a well-disciplined child learns to control his impulses, take responsibility, solve problems, and empathize with others.
In truth, changing your ways and your children’s isn’t easy, and it can be especially difficult to hold it together on crazy mornings. But even if you find that what comes out of your mouth is not what you had practiced, don’t worry. Your child will give you another chance – sooner than you think – to say it better.

7 Great Ways to Get Your Kids to Cooperate
• Acknowledge strong feelings.

A child who feels understood sees you as on his side rather than on his back and is more likely to cooperate. Say, “I noticed how angry you get when you’re having fun and have to leave your friend’s house. Let’s practice a happy goodbye for tomorrow. How would that look and sound?”
• Talk less.

Say what needs to be done in a single word if you can. “Coat.” “Breakfast.” “Teeth.” Children hate long explanations, which often turn into a screaming tirade of reasons it must be done. You’re also modelling self-control.
• Tell your child what he can do,

rather than what he cannot do. For example, “We pet the cat” works better than, “Don’t pull the cat’s tail like you did last week.” This serves as a reminder of an acceptable action rather than of what your child did wrong.
• Give limited choices.

Say to your child, “You can get in your car seat all by yourself or Mommy will help you do it. Do you need my help? It’s your choice.” Most toddlers will say, “Self, self . . . I do it.” The more you do this, the more you’ll get “self” cooperation.
• Lighten up.

Make inanimate objects do the talking for you. If you want your child to put on his shoes, for instance, make the shoes say, “Please put your feet in my tummy.” Toddlers will usually happily comply, at least once.
• Rewind!

This announcement means that your child will “take back” her words and actions and start anew with good behaviour. Silly babble and walking backwards indicate the bad behaviour has been “erased.” In order for this to be effective, it must be introduced, demonstrated, and talked about repeatedly, outside the heat of the moment.
• Take a break.

To calm a frustrated child, stop and breathe together. Say, “Looks like you need a break; let’s breathe together.” Sitting across from each other, holding hands, inhale slowly and deeply three times. Say, “I’m feeling relaxed now.

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Fashionable and patriotic, this macramé bracelet only uses one knot.
You Need:
–3 Yards Red Satin Cord
–3 Yards White Satin Cord
–Blue Pony Beads
–Masking Tape
Instructions:
Preparing your cord:
Fold both pieces of satin cord 18″ from the end. Gather the folded strands together. You now have two 18″ strands and two 7½’ strands. Tie all together into a knot 1/2″ from the fold. Secure by taping to table top at fold. You could also use a clipboard. Pull both 18″ strands taut and tape down ends. These will become strands 2 & 3 in the diagrams below.
Making the knots:
Cross strand 1 over strands 2 & 3 and under strand 4.

Bring strand 4 under strands 2 & 3, and then up through the loop created by strand 1. Tighten.

Cross strand 1 over strands 2 & 3 and under strand 4.

Bring strand 4 under strands 2 & 3, and then up through the loop created by strand 1. Tighten.

Adding Beads:
Beads can be added at any point on the bracelet. You can string them on one, two or all four strands. On the bracelet shown above, beads where strung only on strands 2 & 3.
Finishing:
When you reach the desired length, make a knot to match the other end. Remove tape. Trim ends, leaving enough to tie on wrist after pulling half the strands through the loop.

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Chicken Chana Masala

Ingredients:
Chicken – 1 kg
Chick peas – 1 cup
Onion – 2 medium
Yogurt – 250g
Ginger garlic paste – 2 tbsp
Coriander powder – 1 tbsp
Cumin powder – 1 tsp
Turmeric powder – 1 tsp
Salt – to taste
Ghee – 1 cup
Red chilli powder – 2 tbsp
Ginger flaks and fresh coriander – for garnishing

Method:
Take a pan, put ghee and thinly sliced onion and fry until brown, then add ginger garlic paste and 2 tbsp of water and fry, now add chicken and fry well. Then add turmeric powder, red chilli powder, cumin powder, coriander powder and salt and mix them well. Now add lightly beaten yogurt, mix it well and add chick peas and let it cook until the chicken and chick peas are cooked well. When they’re cooked, switch off the cooker and cover it for 5minutes. Serve with ginger flakes and fresh coriander.

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Many colours go beautifully with lilac, but for this sample board decorating colour scheme, I chose to brighten and warm up the colour with accents of pinky red.
Red is a very striking colour, and makes a wonderful accent colour against many colours – because it looks warm, welcoming, and friendly and is instantly noticeable as it is such a strong colour.

For this look choose warm pinky reds (with blue undertones, rather than orangey-reds – with a yellow undertone) that will blend beautifully well with your chosen shades of lilac.
For matching with red, you can choose either bluey or pinky lilacs and mauves – the bluey lilacs will give the most dramatic effect though.
Accents of cool shimmering silver or warm gold’s can also be added, in fabrics, furniture and even in metals, flooring, woods etc.

Silver will bring a cooler and more spacious effect to your room – ideal for small or dark living room decorating – think chrome, and even glass or mirrors and mirrored furniture to add to this look.
Touches of gold – including warm yellows, mustard gold and oranges in fabrics, wood and flooring – will lend a warmer and friendlier air to your living room decorating scheme.
Look out for beautifully patterned fabrics and accessories, such as wallpapers, cushions, throws and lamps to add to your look, and bring a little of your own personality and style as you decorate your living room.

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Handi Kebab

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Fairy Cakes

Ingredients:
Margarine – 100gm
Plain flour – 100gm
Ground sugar – 100gm
Eggs – 2

Method:
Pre heat oven 425ºF, 218ºC and Gas Mark 7. Mix flour and sugar in a bowl, then add margarine and mix till the margarine has becomes small pieces.
Add the 2 eggs and mix till it becomes a thick mixture.
Now pour the mixture into the cup cases or cup cake pan and bake in pre heated oven for 15 to 20 minutes. Yummy fairy cakes are ready to serve.

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Chicken Broast

Ingredients:
Chicken – ½ cut in pieces
Soya sauce – 2 tbsp
Chinese salt – ½ tsp
Salt – to taste
Black pepper – to taste
Garlic – 3 cloves
Apply all above ingredients on chicken and leave for 10 minutes, and then steam for 10 minutes.

Batter No: 1
Soya sauce – 1 tbsp
Eggs – 3 lightly beaten
Corn flour – 2 tbsp
Garlic powder – 1 tsp
Black pepper – to taste
Mix them well.

Batter No: 2
Plain flour- ½ cup
Corn flour – ½ cup
Bread crumbs – ½ cup
Mustard powder – ½ tsp
Black pepper – to taste
Paprika powder – 1 tsp
Cinnamon powder – ¼ tsp
Garlic powder – 1 ½ tsp
Chinese salt – ½ tsp
Garlic salt – ¼ tsp (if garlic salt is not available, then mix 3 parts of salt and 1 part of         garlic powder and use)
Mix all these dry spices.

Method:
Now take a fryer or pan and put oil and heat it up, first dip chicken pieces in batter ‘No 1’ then in ‘No 2’ and leave it aside to settle, then deep fry until golden brown. Serve hot.

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