It’s typically thought that the breakdown of a long-term relationship is the result of one, destructive event like an affair.
However the reality is that almost all marriages and long-term relationships (even those that end in said affair) collapse slowly, the victim of being taken for granted or overlooked till it becomes two stale strangers who greet each other over the breakfast cereal each morning.
Often it’s little, everyday changes instead of grand gestures which will help save a relationship that is growing cold.
The following tips give you straightforward ways to breathe new life into yours.
Spend quality time together:
It might appear obvious, however the couple that plays together has a much better likelihood of sticking it out than people who lead separate lives in all but name. Per a report by the Office of National Statistics, UK couples solely spend an average of two-and-a-half hours on a daily basis in one another’s company (a figure that is halved for couples with children), and around an hour of that’s spent looking at TV. With therefore very little time to share, how can we honestly expect a relationship to still grow unless we make the effort to try and do so?
It’s the very little things that make us feel cherished and understood, just as it is the lack of these same very little things that makes us feel neglected and alone. So turn off that television and make a promise to one another that you’re going to have dinner together at least 3 times per week so you’ll once more learn how to communicate with each other. (And attempt to squeeze in a leisurely weekend brunch, too – the languor of such a date makes it deliciously intimate).
Spend quality time apart:
At the danger of seeming somewhat contrary (every hand bagger’s right, surely?), the alternative recommendation conjointly holds true. Any couple who’s been together for any length of time is aware that remaining curious about one another’s lives becomes troublesome once those lives run to a similar rhythm month after month and year after year. When you met, you were separate folks and it’s inevitable that over time some joined-at-the-hipness will appear. However, having separate interests that excite and stimulate you as an individual will inject some of that self-same excitement and stimulation into a relationship as an entire.
Whether you opt you are going to overcome Kilimanjaro for charity or, more simply, be part of a book club or take up yoga, the aim is to develop interests which will encourage you to still forge your individual identities, making you more interesting (and so attractive) to one another. Simply keep in mind that a key part of the deal is that each of you remains curious about the other’s extracurricular fun. Failure to do so will only drive you further apart.
Introduce yourselves once more:
Don’t simply stop at sex. Take your new disposition for another perspective to look at one another through fresh eyes. it is a unhappy truth of any relationship that, after we think we’ve got to ‘know’ somebody, we have a tendency to pop them in a little mental box where their likes, dislikes and world views stay forever frozen in our mind. Why, oh, why do we do this? After all, we do not believe our own hopes, dreams and impressions change the instant we cool down, so why do we have a tendency to assume that that is what happens to our partners? The reality is that we’re all dynamic all the time and if we solely take the time to trace those changes – by listening and supporting and learning – then we must always be able to continue to grow alongside, instead of away from the gloriously advanced creatures that we’ve pledged to spend the remainder of our lives with.
Practise a trifle R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Of course, none or any of this could happen unless you are willing to really hear each other with the attention you each merit. Ultimately, a relationship is constructed on love; however, that love should be designed on a foundation of mutual respect. The so-called Golden Rule works in relationships as effectively as it does in all other aspects of life – do unto your partner as you would be done to and really, you mustn’t ever go too wrong.